Nintendo fans were left shocked and upset today at the astonishing disclosure from adult film star Stormy Daniels that US president Donald Trump’s penis looks like Mario character Toad.
In a salacious excerpt from her upcoming book Full Disclosure published this morning by The Guardian, Daniels described the leader of the free world’s manhood thus:
“He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
Now, clearly, this was a lot for some Nintendo fans to take in. It’s a lot for anyone to take in.
At the time of writing, Mario Kart is currently trending worldwide. For many, Nintendo’s cute kart racer will never be the same again.
MARIO KART IS TRENDING OMG I BET A NEW GAME IS COMI… pic.twitter.com/qWImljDdsg
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) September 18, 2018
LOOK WHAT @papsby MADE pic.twitter.com/FopC2J5vWj
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) September 18, 2018
Oh we are sharing our favorite Toad images today?
Mine is this one: Toad guarding two Yoshi eggs while wearing F.L.U.D.D. on his back pic.twitter.com/2p0jLHBdhF
— Nibel (@Nibellion) September 18, 2018
2016: 💦📼
2018: �📖
— N’Gai Croal (@ncroal) September 18, 2018
what i’m gathering is that president trump’s dick has low top speed but makes up for it with fast acceleration and solid handling
— Max Read (@max_read) September 18, 2018
Even Trump’s Toad shaped penis is busy playing golf. pic.twitter.com/kNms7IBScP
— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) September 18, 2018
Nintendo might as well delete Toad from everything now. No I will not be racing as The President’s Not-Freakishly-Small Penis. No I will not select President’s Penis Turnpike to race on. No, no and thrice no.
— Sarah Ditum (@sarahditum) September 18, 2018
EUGH can we just get this straight: Stormy Daniels said Trump’s penis looks like Toad “from Mario Kart” NOT like Toad “from Mario Kart 8” which means actually the President’s penis looks like THIS and not like THIS pic.twitter.com/L3jmUmVvwx
— Dan Marshall (@danthat) September 18, 2018
the best comments on the Trump dick 4chan thread are the guys arguing that penises are actually supposed to look like Toad pic.twitter.com/ygUrcGciPB
— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) September 18, 2018
I’m not sorry at all pic.twitter.com/TmVlyHyrRQ
— MrTom Ichiban! (@MrTom) September 18, 2018
— Daniel Lim (@asphaltOnline) September 18, 2018
Nintendo is yet to comment on today’s reports, although fans dug up this tweet from 2015 which – I think – says it all.
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. pic.twitter.com/cRppuLARGe— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) May 19, 2015
Mario Kart Tour can’t come fast enough, eh Nintendo?
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